Time has had its way with me
My broken, tired hands can't build a thing
The wires that have held me still
Embedded now in flesh, define my will
The idle of my days has won
The empty I have fed has made me numb
Despite what you will find in me
The failures of my past still swell beneath
I need a heart that carries on through the pain
When the walls start collapsing again
Give me a soul that never ceases to follow
Despite the infection within
Our careless feet leaving trails
Never minding the fragile dirt that we all end in
This is where I find my fall
The cares that held me life don't work at all
And every step away from here
Is closer to the plague I hold so dear
Awaiting my end
Breathing in the day that finds me new
Redemption begins
Bleeding out the flaws in place of you
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As I look at the lyrics to that song by "Demon Hunter" I start to realize really what it means. I have listened to it so many times before, sometimes even bringing me to tears, yet I have never related it to myself. Lately I have been struggling with what my place in ministry is. I realize that I should be doing it in every part of my life but for some reason I don't feel "Godly enough". I can't help but think that I'll just slack off or mess things up like I've done before. Everytime I get an opportunity to do something I always think twice and by then the opportunity is gone. The hardest part is that there is noone to blame but myself. I'm the only thing stopping me. It's one of those "I'll stop procrastinating tomorrow" kinds of things. I have the desire to live for God and I know it's what's best for me and those around me, I just never get around to it.
1 comment:
Wow, can I relate to that. Procrastinating seems to be my downfall in everything from school to life in general! It's hard sometimes because some situations need to be thought twice about and others don't. If you feel like God's pushing you to take an oppurtunity, do it! Don't rely on your own human strengths- God will equip you to do whatever He calls you to do! And that's where He's glorified- when you trust Him to give you the means to do something you never thought you could for Him.
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