Deteriorating

Time has had its way with me
My broken, tired hands can't build a thing
The wires that have held me still
Embedded now in flesh, define my will
The idle of my days has won
The empty I have fed has made me numb
Despite what you will find in me
The failures of my past still swell beneath

I need a heart that carries on through the pain
When the walls start collapsing again
Give me a soul that never ceases to follow
Despite the infection within

Our careless feet leaving trails
Never minding the fragile dirt that we all end in

This is where I find my fall
The cares that held me life don't work at all
And every step away from here
Is closer to the plague I hold so dear

Awaiting my end
Breathing in the day that finds me new
Redemption begins
Bleeding out the flaws in place of you
_______________________________________________________________________________

As I look at the lyrics to that song by "Demon Hunter" I start to realize really what it means. I have listened to it so many times before, sometimes even bringing me to tears, yet I have never related it to myself. Lately I have been struggling with what my place in ministry is. I realize that I should be doing it in every part of my life but for some reason I don't feel "Godly enough". I can't help but think that I'll just slack off or mess things up like I've done before. Everytime I get an opportunity to do something I always think twice and by then the opportunity is gone. The hardest part is that there is noone to blame but myself. I'm the only thing stopping me. It's one of those "I'll stop procrastinating tomorrow" kinds of things. I have the desire to live for God and I know it's what's best for me and those around me, I just never get around to it.

I'm using a Bob idea...

Tell me what you see wrong with this picture...

A woman is on the worship team at her local church and is going through alot of family problems. Those family problems make it almost impossible for her to keep up with the schedule for rehersals and meetings. When she does show up she is willing and able to sing but they don't let her because she wasn't at practice, already had a sub, ect... She has been gifted with a beatiful voice and is happy to use it when possible yet, due to her inconsistancy they want to make her take a 4 month break.

Here's a few things I can see wrong with that.

1. Asking her to take a 4 month leave because she can't make it to a practice or two? Why would you deny someone an opportunity to serve in their passion and gifting simply for missing practice and/or not following their man-made rules?

2. When I discussed this with the people in charge of the situation they misquoted the verse about doing things with order. They tried using that to say that if they don't follow the system they shouldn't be allowed to serve on the team... which is both sick and wrong.

3. They felt as though it was an inconvenience to them having to schedule around her to find someone to sing each sunday. What they never thought to consider is how it would effect her, let alone her desire to continue to worship God either in that "ministry" or out.

Now, with all that said, What is the one thing wrong with this whole situation? Can anyone tell me?

Spiritual Warfare

As I sit here and type this I can hear the birds out back singing their unwritten melodies. I see the rays of the sun piercing even the smallest of cracks in the trees. I smell the fresh summer air as I breathe deep the beauty that is this day and I wait. I wait to hear people shouting for joy over what God has done for them. People so intently fixed on sharing their lives with others that they simply cannot hold back their love for one another that burns so passionately within them, given only through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. But much to my disappointment I keep waiting... and waiting... and waiting.

There is a hatred that has turned what was meant for good and used it for evil. It has turned the shouts of joy into cries of sadness. It has corrupted this land of plenty into a pit of dispair. As I try to determine why all this has come to be I wait.

Then it hits me. The reason all this has been corrupted, the reason all these people die, the reason all those people suffer is caused by exactly what I have just told you... waiting. If all we ever do is wait to figure out how to stop this then we add to all this evil that has detroyed God's creation. So no more waiting, and no more trying to figure out how to stop this. We've been told how to already, we just have to listen. The time is now, this is our fight. Satan knows no rules of war, and he will not fight honorably. He will come at not only us, but our families and friends. It is time to show him what we've got.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." ~ Jim Elliot

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." ~ Edmund Burke